PARENTING CAFE


Ever Changing Meaning of Friendship

19th Jul 2016   By Priya Sundaram  [249 views]

ever-changing-meaning-of-friendship

What is friendship? It’s the relationship where two or more people can spend endless time doing everything under the sun – from talking to watching movies, to cribbing to doing nothing at all. Yet, enjoying each other’s company.

When you take your first tiny step into a whole new world called school, you realize you are all alone. The familiar mom dad are not around and that’s how the journey begins. What you see is a lot of tiny creatures around you, some chirpy, some wailing, some silent, some happy and friendship happens! You don’t try, you don’t think, you don’t take any herculean efforts but it happens. And for some lucky people, friendship from school stays for a lifetime, for its formed on the foundation of innocence, trust and pure affection.

You move onto higher education. You get competitive and focused on getting grades, ranks, placements etc. Your heart is still aching from leaving behind some of your wonderful friends in search of brighter future. You want to stay in touch, but you are always short on money and time. You meet as much as possible with friends that are in the same city. You make frequent calls, keep each other updated on various developments in your life. You are open to make new friends, yet a little skeptical. Many make new friends in this stage too, the foundation being – fun, common values, ambition, interests.

You enter the corporate world, have no time for yourself. You are simultaneously learning a lot of things, which the school and college didn’t prepare you for. You realize people are extremely competitive and no one has time to understand each other. You make colleagues at this stage and hardly friends. But there are still possibilities and friendship blooming at this stage is laid on the foundation of deeper understanding of what you are made of, tolerance of accepting you with your flaws.

And then Marriage happens :). It’s a life changing event for both the partners. I am only going to talk about the familiar sex, the known ground – Women.

Post marriage life revolves around a new routine. Husband, managing work and home, understanding the new family and adapting to traditions. Calls from well wishers and friends are frequent at the beginning, declining over time. You get truly busy with your life. The only scope of new friendship is with your husband and new family, the foundation being – adaptability, understanding and adjustment.

Motherhood happens – If you thought life changed after marriage, surprise surprise! Motherhood turns your life 360 degrees. You are a new person. With childbirth, a new you is born. You start understanding life from scratch. You have absolutely no time for yourself or anyone else. No time to think of friends. Friends who?? Someone calls and you either can’t pick the phone and if you do – “I’ll have to call back in 5 years” is the best answer you can muster. You do make friends – with yourself and your new born. Sheer unconditional love is the foundation of it!

Kids start going to school, life gets busier for everyone around you. You are now used to running around and are an expert planner. The chaos is settling, but no one around you seems to have much time for you. The husband is busier & successful, kids busy with homework, exams, entrances, work, love.. The one person you miss the most is your mother. If she is still around to see you through all this, you are blessed. You sit with her and go over your own childhood and your children in the same breath. There is endless exchange of experiences and sense of nostalgia. A mother was your friend in all your phases and you realize how scarcely you appreciated her love and attention. Time to reciprocate – time, love and attention to the one person, who believed in you and stood by you all her life – Mother.

Mother gone, kids married, husband retired. Finally the time comes when we aren’t in a hurry but time is in a hurry. You sit back and contemplate the journey you walked together, the dreams you built together, turning them into reality. Time to go over the missed chances of time not spent together, recollecting lost memories, shared milestones, rewinding life lived, that’s why you call your husband your life partner, partner in everything, your entire life. You understand life, you are content with a life well lived, you are no longer looking for friends, you spread love and happiness into everyone that comes into your life.

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