PARENTING CAFE


Emotions and Parenting – How to strike a balance?

29th Apr 2016   By Neha Sharma  [40 views]

emotions-and-parenting-how-to-strike-a-balance

This one is for insecure papas…

After a sea of write-ups about a child and a mother, this one is about a child and a father.

Child rearing is one of the most interesting and challenging tasks in the world. The other day I was wondering about the dialogues kids say to turn things in their favour. The thought was worth sharing so thought of penning it down.  What does a 4-5 year old child mean when he says, ‘Mama, you’re the best’ or ‘Papa, I like mama more’ or ‘Mama, if you don’t get me this toy I’ll ask papa to get me this and I am sure he’ll get me this because he loves me more than you do’?

Before coming to the main point would like to say yes! Sometimes it becomes heartbreaking for us to listen to a statement like ‘I love mama more than papa’ or ‘I love papa more than mama.’ But should such statements uttered by such small kids really break our hearts?

Well, the answer is No. Most of the times, when nursery goers say such a thing it’s motivated by the immediate occurrences which could be as petty as your denial to get him an ice-cream or a toy or your asking him to stop playing and start studying or any other thing like that.

Whereas many of us consider such talks of kids kiddish, there are some who actually feel bad about it. I know this couple wherein the dad feels disheartened when his son says, ‘Mama is better than you, dad.’ This dad actually feels his son doesn’t love him and that his son requires him only to get him toys or to simply play with him.

Why shouldn’t this dad and all of us make a fuss out of such emotional dialogues of kids?

  1. Because kids at this stage might have mastered the art of speaking their minds but it’s still time before they can clearly express themselves emotionally through words. Though they can very well express their emotions by crying, laughing, hugging, getting excited, throwing things and sometimes by hitting something or someone. But at this stage, their words might or might not be a true reflector of their feelings because sometimes kids don’t even know what a word or a phrase actually means.
  2. Because kids talk straight. They don’t understand the emotional implications of their words on people’s heart. They talk to communicate and not to build or improve relations.
  3. Because they have recently observed that they can use their saying ‘I love you’ or ‘You ain’t getting me a toy, fine, I don’t love you’ as a currency. They know that these dialogues might just get them things of their choice.
  4. Because they are going to change their statements faster than the sky changes hues. If they love mama more in the morning, they’ll love papa more in the evening.
  5. Because for kids a passing thought is as important as a permanent thought. They cannot differentiate between the two and speak whatever comes to their minds at a given moment as their immediate reaction.

But one thing that we all must understand as parents is that our relationship with or kids evolves in phases. Infants and toddlers feel most secure with their mothers and want to be with their mothers the most. It is because the mother feeds them, bathes them, puts them to sleep and does every little thing for which the kids are dependent on her.

However, as and when they grow and start becoming independent, other family members start coming into the picture. That doesn’t mean they love their mothers any lesser but now they have the space and independence required to explore new things, feelings and relationships. A kid develops an independent relation with all the family members like he’ll have unique bonds with his father, grandfather, grandmother or other family members. Out of all the bonds, the one he shares with his mother will always be the most special. But at the same time, that isn’t and shouldn’t be a reason of insecurity for a father or others in the family.

Everything kids do is a part of their learning process. We must try not to interfere in it by moulding the natural course of action in our favour merely to get those sweet answers of our choice from their mouths. Rather we should just supervise them while they learn the cause and effect of their speech. However, at the same time we must also teach kids that they are not going to get a chocolate every time they say ‘I love you more than others.’ Because if they do, they will learn flattery and not prudence.

Comments

RELATED POST


PARENT SPEAK

"You have definitely won the hearts of many little kids with your spectacular Broadway Musical Show. Bravo!"

Sunaina Gera
Kolkata

"I wanted both my kids pic on the wall and Friendly Toyz made the most amazing customized wallpaper! Love you guys"

Siddhi Goyal
Faridabad

"My child is enjoying the motorbike. He loves ride ons and now I dont need to buy them!"

Megha Gurumukhi
Kolkata

"I have stopped going to the market ever since I joined your service. Wonderful! Also, the toy man is humble and sweet to deal with."

Madhu Surana
Kolkata

"I am from Gujarat. Whenever I come to Delhi for a vacation, I avail FT service. It's great. I have had a very good experience"

Manisha Shrivastav
Noida

"I highly recommend Friendly Toyz to my family and friends! Your service is good and very cost effective."

Pankhuri Omar
South Delhi

"All the toys in the Play Zone were great! Our kids had a great time."

Jaya Girdhar
Gurgaon

"You guys organized my Play Zone at one day notice. I was thrilled at the arrangement. Thanks a lot!"

Geetanjali Master
Gurgaon

RECENT BLOGS


VIEW ALL

RECENT VIDEOS


VIEW ALL











friendlytoyz.com is the coolest one-stop solution for your child's needs. Our aim is to create a convenient, hassle-free experience for you and a thrilling, joyous experience for your child. With services across Delhi/NCR, Kolkata, Hyderabad & Nepal, our growing network brings smiles to hundreds of children every week.

Weekly Doorstep Toy Service
Subscribe to play with toys (online toy rental service) and have them exchanged every week at your doorstep. Our value for money toy subscription plans can give your child 52 toys in 52 weeks without any hassles of buying & storing. Simply rent toys online by creating a wishlist on our website to enjoy uninterrupted weekly delivery at your doorstep

Weekly Doorstep Book Service
We strongly encourage children to develop the habit of reading and have a weekly book service option (online book rental service). Simply rent books online by creating a wishlist and have the books of your choice delivered at your doorstep every week. If there are books that you wish to read specifically, let us know. We will be happy to buy and add them to our collection

Big Toys on Rent
Big toys like ride-ons, slides, walkers, see-saw etc are universally loved by all children but they take up a whole lot of space at home! Baby gear rental and baby toy rental is a great way to give your child all these toys without blocking space at home. All you need to do is choose these toys on our website and order them. At a fraction of their cost, they will be delivered at your doorstep and your child can enjoy them for upto 2 weeks. Big rental toys are a huge saving in all ways. Take baby equipment on hire and save money and space

Play Zone for Parties
A mobile play area for birthdays, play dates, family get-togethers, weddings etc. Rent toys for birthday parties simply by choosing them online and we will come and set up the Play Zone for you. It is always the key attraction at every party

Unique Return Gifts
Birthdays are the most special day of the year for a child and parents go all out in making that day beautiful and memorable for their children. Return gifts are an integral part of the birthday party. All children love receiving gifts and they usually tear up the packing even before they get home! Arranging the best return gifts for birthday can be quite a time-taking task. It not only has to match the age group & theme, but also the budget. Choosing birthday return gifts online has great benefits. You can browse through a huge collection without having to step out of your home. With our unique range of return gifts for birthday party, you can easily have them delivered at your doorstep, irrespective of age, theme, interest or budget

Customized Wallpapers
Our rooms are a happy place, a nest to come back to after a long day! When designing a room, we pay a lot of attention to all aspects to make it as close to our personality. Using custom wallpaper is a great way to bring walls alive. Kids wallpaper can be designed to match every possible theme, colour and layout as one desires. Nautical or patterns, animal kingdom or outer space, music or nature, kids room wallpaper themes are limitless. Using photographs , doodles, cartoons and quotes, wallpaper for kids can be extremely customized. Our range of high-quality, high-definition wallpaper for kids room is truly the best gift you can give your child



Subscribe to Newsletter