The 5 mistakes Moms make
Disciplining kids is an uphill task. Period.
After our blog about what one SHOULD do to encourage kids (Read Are you proud of your little one? The easiest way to encourage!), here’s one about what NOT to do. With studies showing how kids are getting more aggressive and violent with over-exposure to video games and TV, the task has become even more challenging. Atleast 6-8 out of 10 kids we see in school, parties, workshops are stubborn and difficult to deal with. So what’s going on? Moms, this is where we are going wrong.
A very common thing we hear moms say to kids these days, “Eat your food otherwise no TV for 1 week”, “listen to me otherwise I won’t take you to the park”. OTHERWISE is a dangerous word. Why bring it into conversation all the time. Imagine how would you feel if you were threatened by your boss 10 times a day, “Send me the report otherwise I will reduce your salary”. No wonder your kid is not listening to you! Motivate, don’t threaten.
Don’t bribe kids over everything
Moms are forever bribing their kids into doing things. “If you go to skating class, I’ll give you a chocolate”. Sounds familiar? Why are we giving our kids this habit of doing things only when they get something in return? Aren’t we tired of the corrupt lot of people who only work when bribed? Didn’t we learn that we should only work and not expect results? Then why are we doing exactly the opposite with our kids?
Don’t give in
Live up to your word. If you are saying that the child is banned from doing something as punishment, follow the punishment through. So many moms punish and then forget about it. Next minute the child is doing that banned thing and the mom doesn’t object. The child thinks, “Oh! Mamma doesn’t mean what she says. I don’t need to listen to her”. Now how’s that?
Don’t say something unpleasant about your child to others
“Aditya just doesn’t listen to me, he is a very bad boy”. Role reversal – “Mom, why don’t you play with me, you are a very bad mom”. How will you feel if you hear your child saying that to a friend of his? Well you know what, kids are far more sensitive than adults. If a comment hurts you, it hurts your child more. You are not doing anything for the child’s ego when you ridicule.
Each child is special. Each child is unique. And your child is to a large extent a result of your upbringing. You think your child is not good enough? Don’t slap your child, slap yourself! Stop telling him, “Look at Aarav, he’s so hard working, why can’t you do it?” Comparing is THE worst thing you can do to your child’s morale and you are doing it very wrong if you are!
Nurture your children with love, care and tender words. Their hearts are like little flowers. Shower with love and they will bloom, be harsh and they will wither away.
Watch this space for more articles on parenting. Also read Play with your child! That’s what they really want, Are we teaching life skills to our children through board games?, What’s good for your child and what’s not!!
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